The Paradox of Being a Good Person: A Personal Journey

Hisyam Mustofa
3 min readOct 5, 2023

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Photo by Norman Abnormal on Pinterest

In a world filled with complexity and moral ambiguity, I often find myself contemplating the paradox of what it means to be a genuinely good person. As I navigate the twists and turns of life, I’ve come to realize that this journey is not a straightforward path, but rather a constant exploration of contradictions and challenges that shape my understanding of goodness.

The Expectations of Virtue

Growing up, I was taught the virtues of kindness, empathy, and compassion. These were the building blocks of what it meant to be a “good person.” The paradox, however, lies in the fact that despite these noble intentions, life often throws us into situations where our commitment to these virtues is tested.

It’s easy to be kind when the world is kind to you, but what about when faced with adversity or difficult people?

The Sacrifice of Selflessness

One of the paradoxes I’ve grappled with is the idea of selflessness. The act of putting others’ needs before our own is a fundamental aspect of goodness, but it can lead to a paradoxical struggle within. How do you balance being altruistic while ensuring you don’t neglect your own well-being? It’s a delicate equilibrium to maintain.

For years, I gave selflessly to those around me, sometimes to the detriment of my own health and happiness. I learned that true selflessness should be a choice, not an obligation. It’s about finding a balance between helping others and taking care of oneself.

The Challenge of Forgiveness

Another paradox that often arises in the pursuit of goodness is forgiveness. We are encouraged to forgive those who wrong us, to let go of grudges and anger. Yet, forgiveness is not always a simple act. It can feel like we are letting someone off the hook for their wrongdoing.

I’ve discovered that forgiveness is not about condoning or excusing the actions of others; it’s about freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment. It’s a paradoxical act of self-compassion that allows us to move forward with our lives.

The Complexity of Morality

The paradox of being a good person is also tied to the complexity of morality. What is morally right in one situation may not be in another. It’s a constant battle to navigate the gray areas and make ethical choices. But rather than being discouraged by this complexity, I’ve come to embrace it as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

The Quest for Authenticity

Ultimately, the paradox of being a good person has led me on a journey of self-discovery. I’ve learned that authenticity is a crucial aspect of goodness. It’s about being true to oneself while striving to make a positive impact on the world.

In this ongoing exploration, I’ve discovered that being a good person is not about perfection. It’s about acknowledging our flaws, learning from our mistakes, and continually striving to align our actions with our values. It’s about embracing the paradoxes and contradictions that make us human and using them to become better versions of ourselves.

As I continue to navigate the complexities of life, I find solace in the fact that the journey towards being a good person is a lifelong endeavor. It’s a paradoxical path filled with challenges, contradictions, and moments of profound clarity. And it’s a journey that I am committed to, not as a destination, but as an ongoing exploration of what it truly means to be a good person in an imperfect world.

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Hisyam Mustofa

Hey there! I'm Hisyam Mustofa, and I'm on a passionate journey through the harmonious realms of life, music, and psychology.